Negative thought patterns are a very common product of ADHD. I’m sure many psychologists could come here and diagnose me as schizophrenic, or with a personality disorder, or as anything else, however it’s just ADHD with big old slash of depression/anxiety down the middle.
I’m paranoid. I am neurotic. And I have absolutely no reason to feel such a way. Yet, it still lurks there, with everyone I meet, everyone I become friends with…
“You’re a failure, you’re annoying, they only like you out of pity.”
Great, thanks random negative self-talk. It’d be nice to think someone actually likes me for me. But why would I think that?
Why do I have this failure to be positive and…normal? Don’t people with ADHD usually have great social skills?
First off, no. Yes, people with ADHD are sociable creatures (typically, some are very shy and introverted as well! Not all ADHD is created equally. For this post, I will most likely be focusing on the ADHD which is most similar to my ADHD) and typically people with ADHD have the gift of gab-and the gift of humor. And the not-so-great gift of being overwhelming and annoying.
And right there I have revealed why people with ADHD often find it to be a struggle. We are constantly being accepted into situations, welcomed, and then suddenly find ourselves denied or ignored without any reason. It’s typically because we committed another social faux pas or we just were too much for the person. And we’re smart enough to notice this happening.
As a kid though…we’re not going to know the why. And so we develop a bit of negative self talk to explain the why…and this becomes so deeply rooted into our thoughts, it carries with us throughout our life. Imagine having ADHD along with this kind of thought pattern. It’s a lonely life, one where we constantly question every single person’s intentions in the back of our mind. We are waiting for the push away from every person, because that’s what we had as a child.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy can help with this. So can having people who are understanding and forgiving. I think the best way to learn is have people simply tell you, but for you to be able to understand people aren’t always right. Some people are just so caught up within their own problems, they are just going to take it out on you.